Last night I was at a Steven Curtis Chapman concert, and it was wonderful. His music is great, but it was the things he had to say that impacted me more. It was through him that I was reminded of something so important.
I was reminded that all that we have is from God.
Ok, so I knew that. I know that. All the time I know that. But it gets better.
All that we have is from God, because He has entrusted us with it. Everything. He has given us everything we have and it is up to us to use it wisely. And although I often think of this idea in terms of stuff (God has given us the things and $$$ we have, so we should give back to Him)...another thing came to mind last night.
Circumstances. (for lack of a better word)
You see, I'm not married. I want to be, and sometimes I have a difficult time when I think about the possibility of never getting married. But I realized something.
My singleness has been entrusted to me by God.
It may not last forever, but right now, I need to treasure it, and use it wisely, and make the best of it, and offer it to God. Whoa. I'm still swimming in this idea.
What has God entrusted you with? What is the thing that you never thought of as being a gift from Him?
When I finally came to the realization that my "singleness" may just all be part of a wonderful plan for me, it was incredibly freeing.
ReplyDeleteYou know, it was like, "God has always taken care of me and ensured my happiness, so why am I doubting this aspect of my life?"
I hear you. It took me 27 years to come to that conclusion, but here we are.
If singleness is a gift, then I'm not treating it very well.
ReplyDeleteIn my life I've only had feelings for three people. The first was way back in 1990, when I was naive and ideological, and thought that if you were a nice person then that niceness would be reciprocated. That never happened; my repeated acts of kindness were taken for granted because it was so easy, and she went on getting married, having kids, divorcing, and starting other relationships.
The second person I had feelings for was during Senior year in High School. When I told her how I felt she told me she had a boyfriend. She then went on to say that I was ugly, rude, arrogant, condescending, and that Asians scared her. It wasn't until much later that I found out she was just lying to me constantly to get me out of her life, and that some of her best friends (male and female) are Asian. That didn't stop me, however, from going into a ten-year depression and seriously doubting everything I am.
The third person I had feelings for was very compatible with me; we all have very similar interests, and the way she felt about various issues was very close to the way I felt about them. She was the first person who ever made sense to me. When I shared my feelings I found out that she isn't attracted to me at all. We agreed to be "just friends" but frankly she avoids me every opportunity she has now, and if I talk to her about even the most trivial things she deletes the message, avoids eye contact, or ignores me outright. It feels like my heart lost me the opportunity to keep a really good friend.
So why am I sharing this? Because as someone who is also deeply creative, passionate about God and single all of his life, I'm telling you that singleness by itself is not a gift. In addition to that singleness, God has also given you incredible talent, the means to utilize that talent, and the desire to be married someday. And as much as I can't stand that feeling of giving more than you get back, I find it more perplexing that no man has ever cherished you yet for how obviously wonderful you are.
Anyway, I hope you do find that person someday, Mollie. In the meantime, continue to nurture all of your gifts. You have everything you need to make your someone very happy.
First thought that comes to my mind are my children....naturally. I'm often struck with what an amazing "loan" they are. And I always end up wishing I were doing a better job!
ReplyDeleteBut you asked about what might be a gift that I'd never considered to be a gift before. After thinking about it for a little while, I decided it was my quiet nature. I'm not terribly outgoing though I do love people deeply. I need quiet time (which is often where He captures me!) and I'm better able to communicate (via articles, letters, etc.) in that solitary time.
I now consider it a gift since I see all that gets accomplished for His good during that time and I feel so refreshed afterward. I used to see it as my odd need to be tucked-away from people and a rather anti-social behavior. Thanks for giving me a chance to reconsider my blessings!
Hope you and your family are doing well. I haven't commented or posted much lately as our schooling keeps me hopping....not to mention cooking, sewing, planning, learning, photographing....: )
poppicakes: absolutely! God has a plan for each of us, and I know that where we are in our lives isn't something that He overlooked!
ReplyDeleteVance: Thank you. I really appreciate the sweet words of encouragement. And to you I say, Good for you! Only having had feelings for 3 people means more of your heart is there for the one person you're meant to share your life with. (I've tried to do the same.)
Jannza: It's good to hear from you! Your need for quiet definitely sounds like a gift (even if the quiet is hard to come by in a busy house!).
Thank you to you all for the blessings I've felt from your comments!
Mollie ~
ReplyDeleteI just wanted to say thank you for posting this ~ I have thought about it all week.
Cool observations and thinking Mollie. I've come to realize that not having biological children has been an awesome blessing. I've met people I'd have never met otherwise, I see life in a completely different way, I have the best children (adopted) in the universe and I understand more fully what God meant when He adopted me into His family. I used to have a terrible pain when I'd sit through other women talking about child birth or pregnancy but not so much anymore. It's not the story God has written for me but I know His story is so much better than anything I could dream up and His story for you is going to be thrilling for you as well.
ReplyDeleteThanks for this! I really needed to hear it. I think about my singleness a lot too, and I know that it's all part of God's perfect plan for me...but sometimes a little reminder is very encouraging.
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