It was a dark and stormy night?

There's nothing like a good book. And trust me, the excerpts you're about to read are nothing like a good book. The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest is a literary parody contest "honoring" Edward George Earl Bulwer-Lytton, who penned the famous opening lines, "It was a dark and stormy night."

The results of the contest are filled with many categories, including children's, detective, and science fiction among others. And from the "Dark and Stormy Night" category:

"It was a dark and stormy night--actually not all that dark, but more dusky or maybe cloudy, and to say "stormy" may be overstating things a bit, although the sidewalks were still wettish and smelled of ozone, and, truth be told, characterizing the time as night is a stretch as it was more in the late, late afternoon because I think Oprah was still on."

  (via Blue Plaid Shirt)